The final day with my mom.

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I just want to thank everyone for the support during this very difficult transition. The service at Our Lady of Malibu Church was so beautiful and to see the church filled with my moms wonderful friends and relatives is something I will treasure.
I really want everyone to know how my mom spent her last day. I was with her from July 5th to July 10th. On her last day, July 10th she walked outside with me and enjoyed the sun on her face. She said we needed to come outside everyday. She sipped on some tea and ate about 4 tablespoons of Cream of Wheat. We were outside for about an hour and she asked me to read from the bible. I am not too familiar with the bible and where to find stories so I just started turning the pages and began reading. I ended up reading a story about Jesus on his last day before his crucifixion. My mother asked me what I thought of that story. She then shared her thoughts and said how amazing it was that Jesus, knowing he would be crucified the following day, he was still able to help the people and continued healing others. I then read to her from a book that shares stories about people who are facing their loved ones on their last day. The stories were so touching and I could not get through the stories without tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. She loved hearing the stories about people right before they die. This was the first day I believe my mom actually accepted that she was still alive. She was hoping for her own death the entire week. She wanted to go and she wanted the suffering to stop. On Saturday she said, "well, I guess I am going to be here a while." I agreed. I really thought I was going to have her at least another week. My mom then went inside for a short nap, her friend Elizabeth arrived, my mom watched a movie and she ate saltine crackers and chicken broth. My mom also had a strawberry popsicle which she said was very yummy and if I could make sure there were more of those for the next day. My mom was so peaceful all day. She was eating, drinking, talking and participating in life. She was so alive. I had decided to leave at 4:00 to head home and take care of my own life, but told her I would return in a few days. Her friend Elizabeth stayed the night with my mom and for that I am so thankful. I felt so at peace with my mom and her condition that day when I left. My mom did have a look of question when I said I would see her in a couple days, but she did not ask me to stay. The day before she had said I should go home and be with my husband. That was the first time she had said I could leave. After I left, her cousin Ronnette came for a visit and my mom wanted a Starbucks latte. I don't know if she ever drank that latte because she did get nauseous later on. She shared with Ronnette the song that Quincy, Jen, my mom and I had written, End of the Road. Her and Elizabeth then had many conversations and my mom went to sleep. At one in the morning my mom awoke and said she was having trouble breathing. She was given oxygen, a dose of morphine and a hand to hold so she knew she was not alone. She couldn't quite catch her breath, but she was still talking and living. She then took four large breaths and passed away around 1:30 a.m. on July 11th.
After all of the suffering my mom went through the past 3 years with the cancer I am so thankful she did not have any further suffering. Her last day was so peaceful, she was so ready to be with Jesus. She had accepted everything and gave the process to God. I have never met anyone who truly had accepted Jesus the way my mother had. I am so thankful I was able to spend the last six days of my mothers life with her. I am truly blessed. Thank you mom for showing me how to be brave. Thank you mom for sharing your friends with me, they love you so much. I will miss you, but I know you are not that far away. Maybe you are here right now making sure I say all the right things. I am sure once a mother always a mother. Say hello to Grandpa, tell him the beach party was just as he planned. Was that you who turned the music up at Charlou's?
Love always, Kelly